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dia de gracias

November 27th, 2008

My sister and I cooking the following in one oven, four burners and one toaster oven [ALL from scratch mind you]:

  • Turkey
  • Penil (Pork Shoulder)
  • Roasted Chicken
  • Stuffing
  • Cranberry Sauce
  • Potato Salad
  • Macaroni Salad
  • White rice
  • Arroz con gandules (rice with pigeon peas)
  • Mashed potatoes
  • Candied yams
  • Biscuits
  • Sweet Potato pie with pecans
  • Pumpkin Pie
  • Mixed green salad
  • Whipped cream (Yes bitches I whipped my own cream)
  • Bruschetta
  • Gravy
  • Garlic butter cream
  • Coquito (this typical Puerto Rican holiday drink with coconut milk, rum, and some other stuff)
  • So the happy accident occured when I heated up way too much of this heavy cream and butter combo I had set up to mix in with the mashed potato. So I used the leftover cream/butter mixed and heated up, adding some more butter and some minced garlic, and boiled it till it reduced and added some flour to thicken it up (much like you do with gravy) and poured it into a serving cup thing and told people it was for the biscuits. They ended up pouring it over everything and I had to go make more because they loved it so much.

    In attendance: Me, my sister Liz, my sister’s "friend" Barry, my Mom, my sister Marilyn, My niece Desmari, my nephew’s Joe and Kenny, Kenny’s friend Zachary, my Uncle Sammy, his girlfriend Charo, her son Fernando, my Aunt Awilda, our family friend Liz, my cousin Felix and his mom Lisa.

    Some family moments:

  • My cousin Felix (who’s in his late 30s) explaining to me his feud with my other sister and how her husband called him and cussed him out and called him a crackhead, to which my cousin says to me: "Can you believe he said that to me? I’m not a crackhead, I mean I only do that shit once a week but I’m not a crackhead" My face: "…."
  • My 13 year old nephew getting a kick out of fucking with our drunk relatives by asking how many fingers did he have up and waving them around.
  • My 62 year old Aunt Awilda telling me about how she’s tired of hooking up with men her age because she has too work too hard to help them get it up (there was hand motions involved in this story) and how she’d rather fuck guys closer to my age because they’re at her level sexually. She also explained how women always fuck better than men because we last longer and she was shitfaced drunk telling me all this. Fabulous.
  • I danced with my family, it was a nice moment. We put on some music and worked it out.
  • My uncle dancing is by far the most ridiculous shit I’ve ever seen. He puts his hand over his stomach and hops. I kid you not.
  • The phrase fuck you used so lovingly with everyone
  • My mom being there. She was released yesterday from the rehab center (she’s been getting physical therapy for 2 months after her knee surgery) so it was great she was here.
  • My Uncle’s Girlfriend’s 19 year old son giving me makeup tips and wearing nicer lip gloss than I was.
  • It was a nice day and tomorrow I’m going to do karaoke with Wing Mai, Kevin, Nassim and Rebecca. Good times. Good times.

    Entry Filed under: Personalized


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    Definition


    soyrican: /sɔɪˈri kən/ adj.
    • slang. the state of being Puerto Rican.
    • a term adopted by the author to poke fun at her inconsistencies with her culture. You don't eat beans? Man, you ain't real Puerto Rican, you're the soy version, soyrican!
    • a twenty-four year old self proclaimed geek who does not apologize for her often questionable taste. (see also: Joliz)

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